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Speidi to direct porn?!

Speidi to direct porn?!
November 15, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

While Heidi and Spencer‘s sex tape will never happen, mostly because Heidi had her vagina removed to make herself look slimmer and Spencer’s dick is roughly the size of half a tic-tac, Vivid entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch is offering the two a chance to direct his next movie. In a related story, Michael Lucas‘ career just threw up in its own grave. *Rimshot!*

TMZ has obtained a letter sent by Vivid honcho Steven Hirsch, offering the couple the chance to get behind the lens. The idea, it appears, is to have the gruesome twosome helm skin flicks that will draw directly from the couple’s own fantasies. We’re told both sides will get together in the near future and discuss the deal, and Spencer is definitely interested … if the numbers are right. SOURCE

While this may seem like a terrible idea on paper, it gets even worse when you consider what exactly “Heidi and Spencer’s ultimate fantasies” would entail. If I had to guess, it would involve Heidi having her heart replaced by an iPhone while Spencer Pratt wins a billion Oscars for Tower 69: Electric Boogaloo or whatever the fuck the name of his movie was, then getting a call from MTV saying that they’re changing the name of the channel to Spencer Pratt Doesn’t Have A Micropenis TV.