Ladies and gentlemen, the long national nightmare is finally over: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have officially filed for divorce. I’ll be damned if this news isn’t like waking up on your birthday and finding out that Santa Claus is real, and that he looks like Ryan Reynolds, and that he’s walking around shirtless handing out free money. Which is to say: BEST NEWS EVER.
“Heidi has amended her petition for separation and today has filed a petition for dissolution of marriage from Spencer Pratt,” Heidi’s lawyer told People. “The couple has agreed they would like their divorce to be finalized in a timely manner in an out of court settlement. Both parties are amicable with each other and over the possibility of finalizing their divorce.”
[…] “Well, some say if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen. Heidi couldn’t handle King Spencer’s fame so she got out of the marriage,” he said. SOURCE
HA HA HA no. Please, at this point I think Heidi’s body metabolizes fame the same way plants metabolize sunlight, because there’s no way in hell that girl is eating people food. My guess is she got tired of banging some douchebag with a creepy flesh-coloured pedo-beard and decided that if she couldn’t make him get rid of one beard, she’d make him lose another.