Sorry Bieber, But Your Princess Is In Another Castle

Good news, absolutely no one! The Justin Bieber movie, Never Say Never, is coming out in three weeks! Fuck. Anyway, apparently the filmmakers decided to wait until the last possible minute to ask Nintendo for the rights to use the iconic Super Mario Bros. theme, except whoops! Even Nintendo has standards, so they pretty much flat-out told them to go fuck a land mine.

Obnoxious teen sensation Justin Bieber – or, at least, his people – wanted to use the iconic Super Mario Bros. theme in his upcoming movie. Curiously, Nintendo said “nothankyou.jpg”.

[…] Why, then, is the “film’s” director John Chu complaining “aw C’mon Nintendo! Y won’t u let us use the Mario theme for 15 secs in the @Justinbieber movie…talk about free advertising passed up. Oops.” SOURCE

Yeah, because nobody knows who Mario is and he really needs the help of some demonic lesbian to get his name out there.

Chu: I’m sorry, master Beelzebieber, but we couldn’t secure the rights in time for your mov-

Bieber: SILENCE! Bring me the Princess and build eight castles that Mario must conquer before he can set her free. Also, get me a bunch of turtles that walk left until they fall off a cliff.

Chu: Yeah, not like he’s ever seen that before…

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.