WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Someone wants money from Lindsay Lohan!

Someone wants money from Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan

The one major downside to living in Los Angeles, other than the fact that the smog basically makes it look a city is wrapped in farts, is that bitches will sue you at the drop of a hat, especially if you have a history of high-profile legal shenanigans. Case in point: Some dummy is claiming that Lindsay Lohan beat the crap out of her in a club while in a drunken stupor. Except there’s just a teensy little hole in that story: Lindsay wasn’t at the club that night and she’s claiming the whole thing is one giant scam. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan and her attorney, Shawn Holley, will go to the West Hollywood Sheriff’s substation and ask detectives to investigate the woman accusing Lindsay of battering her — investigate her for filing a false police report. TMZ broke the story, the woman claims Lindsay pushed and shoved her at the Standard Hotel Thursday night. Two days later she went to the Sheriff’s Department and deputies took an incident report. But Lindsay insists she was at home Thursday night watching Homeland. What’s more … there is not a single photo of Lindsay inside or outside the Standard Hotel on Thursday night, and that is highly suspicious. Filing a false police report is a crime in California, punishable by 6 months in jail. Holley tells TMZ, “If it’s true that someone made false accusations against Ms. Lohan and reported those false claims to police, we will take appropriate action — which includes seeking the prosecution of that individual.”

In all fairness to the girl pressing charges, it could just be a matter of some random red-headed girl pushing the plaintiff, and the plaintiff’s brain automatically went through its memory bank, trying to figure out which famous person just shoved her so that she can sue someone famous and get mega-rich off of it. Or she just made the whole thing up. Either way, I for once want to believe Lindsay here, which means I’m going soft. I know, I’m disappointed in me too.

Lindsay Lohan