Snooki Has Written The Great American Novel

Snooki Has Written The Great American Novel
January 4, 2011 JEREMY FEIST

Plucked fresh from the virgin mind of our golden lady, doth comes this most rapturous of reads: A Shore Thing, from the loquacious plume of Snooki. Yea, from yonder tangelo plum fairy did issue a most wonderous and whimsical tome, one our children’s children shall cherish for seasons to come! And now, a reading…

  • He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.
  • Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.
  • Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky. SOURCE

No. Words. Not a single written word can do justice to the beauty that is A Shore Thing. How rare it is to witness such a refined Aphrodite capture the slings and arrows of the human condition the way she has. Scholars of the English language! Put down your monocles. You are no longer necessary.