Snooki is a slutty, useless news anchor now!

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

You see? YOU SEE?! This is what happens when you encourage stupid orange creamsicle whores. Anyway, Jersey Shore star Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was, for some reason, allowed to stand in front of a camera and read jokes about recent news in a stilted tone while she burps and eats pickles. Get it? It’s like she’s in on the joke now! Except being self-aware to the fact that you’re an awful human being and not doing anything about it doesn’t give you the moral high ground to continue to be shitty, it just means you’re a naval-gazing moron who’s too self-centered and stuck up to change the fact that you’re basically cancer on legs.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.