shockingly, dina lohan might be a total bitch!

I’ve been trying to stay as far away from Lindsay Lohan stories as I could here, mostly because I felt sorry for her, and also because there are only so many jokes you can make about her being a drug addict. That being said, I’m giving myself a freebie for this report of Dina Lohan and Ali abusing Lindsay’s assistant, Elinore. Okay, so it’s kinda tied into Lindsay, but I have this thing about making fun of washed up has-been stage mothers that trumps my “No-LiLo” rule. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Elinore, Lindsay’s long-suffering assistant, tell TMZ she
is “miserable,” “super-stressed” and “incredibly worn out” these days —
which is strange because Lindsay has been “away” for nearly a month. But now she has to do Dina and Ali Lohan’s bidding. We’re told Dina “goes
on about nothing for days,” constantly rambling about potential business
deals. One such “deal” centers around a storage unit Lindsay has with her
old clothes and other belongings that don’t fit in her apartment.
According to our sources, Dina thinks there’s money to be made off the
stuff with a Lohan garage sale. SOURCE

Oh, of fucking course Dina would try to pawn off Lindsay’s clothes without her knowledge. Are you kidding me?! Dina would probably Roofie her own daughter, cut out her kidneys and sell them on the black market while Lindsay woke up in a bathtub full of ice. Totally true story by the way. Happened to a friend of my cousin’s girlfriend’s sister, so you know it has to be real.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.