Let’s say you’re Shia Laboeuf. You’ve just finished up your day on set for Transformers 3: Autobots vs. The Mooninites and you’re chilling with a book at a coffee shop when some pudgy photog decides to snap a picture of you. Clearly, this means you should spazz out, throw your coffee at him and then run away, right? Right.
Except holy shit, Shia is kind of a huge pansy. Seriously, he looks like an eight-year-old who had too much sugar. I mean, he nailed the guy in the butt with his coffee. IN THE BUTT (this is not the first time I’ve ever typed these words). Really, the only downside is that the paparazzi probably looks like he had a bad case of the squirts, but that’s it. You call that a paparazzi attack? Lindsay Lohan ran a tank through an orphanage and killed five babies in the time it took you to read this sentence. That’s how a real bitch does it.