Shia LaBeouf is retiring? Good!

Shia LaBeouf is retiring? Good!
January 10, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Shia LaBeouf

Yesterday, Shia LaBeouf was finally served a cease and desist order for being a little thief who steals all his work from other people and calls it “creation”. Anyway, in light of him getting sued right in the balls, Shia has decided to retire, which he announced by singing a seven-part musical number called “So Length, Faregood” in an Austrian accent. “You like that? I created it myself,” he said, as he was handed a subpoena by the estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein.


Of course, it’s still incredibly likely that this is all just one big troll performance-piece about Hollywood celebrity and art and creativity in Hollywood and — Oh my gosh. OF COURSE! He’s plagiarizing Joaquin Phoenix‘s I’m Still Here! It all makes sense now! Even his performance art piece about plagiarism IS PLAGIARIZED!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.