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Selena Gomez wants to date older men now

Selena Gomez wants to date older men now
March 7, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez

After breaking up with Justin Bieber for the 32nd time, it seems Selena Gomez is officially done with Justin and his sagging cheetah diaper ass, and has decided to seal the deal by looking for an older guy to date. In all fairness, finding a guy whose older than a fetus shouldn’t be hard. Via RadarOnline

“Selena is looking to date an older man this time,” a pal of the 20-year-old singer and Spring Breakers actress exclusively told Radar. “She finally realized how toxic it was to date a toddler like Justin.” According to the friend, Selena has been focused sharply on her career and isn’t worrying so much about matters of the heart. “Selena is doing really well and feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders now that Justin is out of the picture,” the source said. “She finds Justin to be embarrassing since their breakup. He’s turned into exactly the kind of person she’d never want to be with.”

Selena: You know, it’s so nice to be dating a guy who doesn’t leave Legos all over the floor.
Date: I’m just happy to be here.
Selena: Tell me again how you’re investing sensibly in your future.
Date: I put a portion of every paycheck into my retirement savings account.
Selena: YES! YES! OH GOD YES!
Date: I monitor my FICO score and I have a short-term mortgage with sensible payments.
Selena: OH GOD YESSSSSSSSSS!!!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.