Selena Gomez & Orlando Bloom are vengeance-dating?

Selena Gomez & Orlando Bloom are vengeance-dating?
April 28, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Selena Gomez

Remember how earlier I said that Justin Bieber was putting his plans to propose to Selena Gomez on Instagram because he’s an idiot? Well, about that. According to Page Six, Selena and Orlando Bloom are reportedly doing it (see the picture of them together), as revenge for that one time Justin and supermodel and Orlando’s ex-wife Miranda Kerr reportedly did it. But no, Instagram proposals. I’m sure that’ll work out well for you, honey.

Two days after Selena Gomez and Orlando Bloom were photographed canoodling outside a Chelsea Handler concert in Los Angeles, the pair’s motives are being questioned. With rumors swirling that the 21-year-old Spring Breakers starlet and the 37-year-old Lord of the Rings heartthrob are seeing each other, TMZ points out that the two might be looking to get back at their famous exes, Justin Bieber and Miranda Kerr. In November 2012, Bieber, 20, and Kerr, 31, were seen getting cozy backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show; the gossip site alleges the two got closer than that.

Justin, I’m going to take this moment to break this down as bluntly as I possibly can: Give up. Now. Because this is not a fight you’re going to win. You are a diminutive man-child with no sense of self-awareness, a false sense of entitlement, and weird drop-crotch pants that make you look like you’re wearing a messy diaper, and you’re fighting against LEGOLAS for a woman’s affection. You’ve already lost. You are fighting against a magical archer. Hang it up and go home.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.