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Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn split!

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn split!
June 4, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn

So it turns out, a 26-year-old woman rebounding into a relationship with a 50-year-old man who used to regularly beat the crap out of Madonna didn’t end well. Who knew, right? Anyway,Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have officially split after three months of dating, presumably because Scarlett woke up one day and realized she was voluntarily allowing Sean Penn to rest his balls on her chin.

After quietly dating for several months, Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson have split, a source told People. Sean, 50, and Scarlett, 26, never confirmed they were dating, but were spotted looking like a couple by the paparazzi on various occasions. SOURCE

Really? It took her 90 days to realize she could do better than the angry guy whose dick looks like a turtle-head lying down on a pair of soft-boiled eggs? Holy shit, do you realize what this means? Literally everyone in the entire world has a shot with Scarlett Johansson. Seriously, a guy who’s had all his limbs cut off and replaced with deadly snakes has a shot with her now, based on the sole virtue that she once willingly fucked Sean Penn.

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn