Ryan Seacrest is a harbinger of pestilence!

It would be easy to blame Ryan Seacrest for everything that’s wrong with America. Probably because it’s true. This is the guy who made the Kardashianfamily a thing, so clearly, he is a very special and malicious kind of evil. Not only that, but Ryan is partially to blame for American Idol, and yesterday he went on the show with a terrible illness. To be fair, he’s probably just a hard worker and he loves his job, except the first thing he did when the cameras started rolling was kiss Jennifer Lopez and then rubbed himself all over the contestants. Awesome move. TMZ reports:

We broke the story — Ryan came close to bailing on the show. He had a terrible stomach virus, was throwing up the night before and all day yesterday, and went through 2 IV bags in a matter of hours. He didn’t make it to the rehearsal and Nigel Lythgoe was ready to step in. Take a look at the video. He hugs and kisses Jennifer Lopez, hugs Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler, puts his arm around Jessica and shakes her hand, puts his arm around Skylar, shakes Joshua’s hand twice, puts his arm around Phillip and does the same with Hollie.

If Contagion has taught me anything, it’s that this will probably turn into a world-destroying super flu that nobody will remember, except for that one part where Gwyneth Paltrow died because everyone just really does not like her for some reason. Go figs.

Ryan Seacrest

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Whitney Houston / Yaya Dacosta ANTM's Yaya DaCosta takes on Whitney Houston in Lifetime biopic of the singer's life OMG Blog
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes 'literally could not be more excited' about their baby Celebitchy
Lea Michele and the Glee cast share heartfelt messages about Cory Moneith :( PopSugar
Hugh Jackman recently shaved his head to play Blackbeard in the Peter Pan movie! SOW
Zac Efron has apaprently been hooking up with Michelle Rodriguez since 2011?! The Blemish
Glee's Becca Tobin's boyfriend, Matt Bendik, was found dead in his hotel room! ICYDK
The day we all haven't been waiting for is here, Paris Hilton has a new single out Celebslam
Oh my word ... this is one red carpet fashion disaster that no one should see! Hollywood Tuna
Watch: Sexy Dolce & Gabbana models hit on you ... while they suck on helium! Oh La La
Someone tell Lindsay Lohan that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words Evil Beet
Brody Jenner went to Reggie Bush's wedding after skipping Kim Kardashian's wedding! Dlisted