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Ryan Seacrest is a harbinger of pestilence!

Ryan Seacrest is a harbinger of pestilence!

It would be easy to blame Ryan Seacrest for everything that’s wrong with America. Probably because it’s true. This is the guy who made the Kardashianfamily a thing, so clearly, he is a very special and malicious kind of evil. Not only that, but Ryan is partially to blame for American Idol, and yesterday he went on the show with a terrible illness. To be fair, he’s probably just a hard worker and he loves his job, except the first thing he did when the cameras started rolling was kiss Jennifer Lopez and then rubbed himself all over the contestants. Awesome move. TMZ reports:

We broke the story — Ryan came close to bailing on the show. He had a terrible stomach virus, was throwing up the night before and all day yesterday, and went through 2 IV bags in a matter of hours. He didn’t make it to the rehearsal and Nigel Lythgoe was ready to step in. Take a look at the video. He hugs and kisses Jennifer Lopez, hugs Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler, puts his arm around Jessica and shakes her hand, puts his arm around Skylar, shakes Joshua’s hand twice, puts his arm around Phillip and does the same with Hollie.

If Contagion has taught me anything, it’s that this will probably turn into a world-destroying super flu that nobody will remember, except for that one part where Gwyneth Paltrow died because everyone just really does not like her for some reason. Go figs.

Ryan Seacrest