Ryan Seacrest is a harbinger of pestilence!

It would be easy to blame Ryan Seacrest for everything that’s wrong with America. Probably because it’s true. This is the guy who made the Kardashianfamily a thing, so clearly, he is a very special and malicious kind of evil. Not only that, but Ryan is partially to blame for American Idol, and yesterday he went on the show with a terrible illness. To be fair, he’s probably just a hard worker and he loves his job, except the first thing he did when the cameras started rolling was kiss Jennifer Lopez and then rubbed himself all over the contestants. Awesome move. TMZ reports:

We broke the story — Ryan came close to bailing on the show. He had a terrible stomach virus, was throwing up the night before and all day yesterday, and went through 2 IV bags in a matter of hours. He didn’t make it to the rehearsal and Nigel Lythgoe was ready to step in. Take a look at the video. He hugs and kisses Jennifer Lopez, hugs Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler, puts his arm around Jessica and shakes her hand, puts his arm around Skylar, shakes Joshua’s hand twice, puts his arm around Phillip and does the same with Hollie.

If Contagion has taught me anything, it’s that this will probably turn into a world-destroying super flu that nobody will remember, except for that one part where Gwyneth Paltrow died because everyone just really does not like her for some reason. Go figs.

Ryan Seacrest

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Tila Tequila Tila Tequila announced on Facebook recently that she is ten weeks pregnant! The Blemish
James Franco called a New York Times theater critic a 'little bitch' over a bad review Celebitchy
The Stupid Awards: Jessica Simpson's baby daddy Eric treats their kid like a football! Bohomoth
How cute do Mariah Carey and her hubby Nick Cannon look in their Easter costumes? SOW
Khloé Kardashian and French Montana are said to be casually dating each other! ICYDK
Cameron Diaz claims that model Kate Upton is more than just big ol' titties! Celebslam
OMG, he's naked: Big Brother Canada contestant Kenny Brain's NSFW Grindr pics! OMG Blog
Why anyone would want to use singer Selena Gomez to help sell shoes? Hollywood Tuna
Dolce&Gabbana's eyewear ads with Noah Mills, Evandro Soldati and Adam Senn Oh La La
Remember when Lindsay Lohan wrote a list of dudes she banged and we all saw it? Evil Beet
Miley Cyrus has postponed the remainder of her US Bangerz tour until August! Dlisted