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Russell Brand gave a complete stranger a handjob?

Russell Brand gave a complete stranger a handjob?
October 21, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Russell Brand

WELP. This is happening. According to an interview RadarOnline dug up, comedian and actor Russell Brand once jerked a guy off for a documentary because queer sexuality is something that straight guys only pull out when they want to be artsy. Thanks for that, by the way. Anyway, it Russell also adds that this all happened back during a time when he was addicted to heroin, just so you know he isn’t really gay in real life! Just when it’s convenient to his artistic vision.

“I trawled around Soho…going [to] various gay bars, gay gyms trying to pick people up with a film crew,” says the Get Him To The Greek star.

“I went in this pub and I goes: ‘Anyone want me to wank them off?’

“And this bloke goes, ‘Yep’. Like as if I was saying: ‘Does anyone want a packet of crisps [potato chips] from the bar…?’

“So we goes to the lavvy – me, him, the director – and…he gets his willy out. And it was not nice. The phallus is…I like mine and you see some others in paintings that look all right but his looked like a rag.” KEEP READING IF YOU DARE »

So if I understood this right, Russell jacked a guy off and that’s HILARIOUS! But he only did it because he was addicted to heroin, so that’s sad. Look, if you’re not going to enjoy jerking off a guy, then don’t bother doing it, because no one wants to hear about how funny it would be if you weren’t strictly heterosexual. (Yeah, that was harsh. I apologize, but something about this strikes me as unkosher.)

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.