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All T, All Shade: Super Troopers

All T, All Shade: Super Troopers
April 9, 2013 JEREMY FEIST
RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul's Drag Race

It’s the final five, so you know what that means: A departed queen is going to be brought back HAHAHAHA! No, they’re not doing that this year because they always end up going home immediately after. No, this year we’re skipping that and going straight to the make-over challenge. Thus far, the queens have made over martial artist women, straight jocks, daddies of both the literal and gay variety, and now we get to see the queens make over gay veterans. Yup, RuPaul’s Drag Race is celebrating the end of DADT the best way possible: By taking servicemen and putting them in drag! Who did the best? Well …

Alaska – Bottom 3

To be honest, I don’t think Alaska did that badly this week. A big part of that may have been the fact that the guy she picked was statuesque and beautiful, but I loved her bank-robber drag and the make-up job she did on Nebraska was beautiful. That being said, we have to discuss the padding she did. I know Alaska isn’t known for being overtly curvy, but as a drag queen, you need to know when padding doesn’t look natural. Hell, she could have used a holster to widen Nebraska’s hips. Padding aside, Alaska did a pretty good job, but when you’re in the final five, pretty good isn’t going to cut it. If you’re not in the top, you’re in the bottom.

Coco Montrese – Sashay Away

I did something different today before writing this: I actually watched the Elimination Lunch hosted by Michelle Visage and Mimi Imfurst (who makes for a pretty copacetic wing-man. Wing-woman? Wing-queen.) wherein Coco came talked with fans about her time on the show. I have to admit, Coco was a lot nicer outside of the show, and I’m guessing a big part of that is that she doesn’t have to contend with that sort of hungriness that plagued her on the show. That being said, her make-up job was . . . Yeesh. Coco’s biggest fault has always been that she paints for the cheap seats, and when she had to paint someone with a drastically different skin-tone than her, she kinda fell on her ass. When it came time for her to lip-synch, I kinda felt like she and Detox kinda ended up in a tie, but with four lip synchs under her belt, there was really no way she had a chance of staying in. Speaking of Detox…

Detox – Bottom 2

I said this a couple weeks ago, but Detox’s biggest liability in the competition is the layer of ironic detachment that surrounds her. The weird thing is that this week saw brief glimpses of Detox sans that hipster over-itness, and it showed a queen who could have very well won the crown. Unfortunately, she ended up being dragged down by little details, like a messy colorguard performance and some style choices that were questionable at best. The big problem going forward is that, if she ends up bottom 2 next week, she’ll probably be the one to leave. A third strike under her belt and the continued reliance on her lip-wiggle just aren’t putting the odds in her favor.

Jinkx Monsoon – Top 2

A couple weeks back, I talked about how worried I was about Jinkx in this challenge. At the beginning of the season, Jinkx’ make-up was a bit on the wonky side (her contours were just a touch too sharp) but as last week showed, Jinkx has really upped her game paint-wise. Sure, Alaska probably figured that pairing her with the oldest guy was only going to hinder her, but if anything, she gave Jinkx a guy who played to all her strengths: Jinkx and Dave Lara were hilarious together, and they totally served the kind of old-school gay charm that she does best. And can I say, Dave was ADORABLE. The guy was just so sweet and the two of them were so cute together, especially when Jinkx worked to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. Also, he gave us perhaps the greatest hashtag in Drag Race herstory: #IKilledJudyGarland. Honestly, they should have won just for that.

Roxxxy Andrews – Winner

Like Raven in season 2, Roxxxy ended up getting the hairiest guy in the group and she ended up winning. Turns out, shaving off body hair doesn’t really take that long. When will people figure that one out? Le sigh … Either way, Roxxxy is probably the fishiest one there, and getting the curviest guy there once again ended up playing to her strengths more than Alaska probably intended. Personally, I thought that Roxxxy’s guy look a little more like Madame LaQueer than Roxxxy, but overall Roxxxy imbued a lot of her personal style and mannerisms into her drag daughter. Personally, I’m not overly fond when a queen basically just makes a clone of themselves instead of a relative, but all in all, Roxxxy proved why she’s still in the competition and is fast cementing a place for herself in the final three.