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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

All T, All Shade: Scent of a Drag Queen

All T, All Shade: Scent of a Drag Queen
March 19, 2013 JEREMY FEIST
RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul's Drag Race

Usually, when the queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race are whittled down to seven, Ru will throw the queens a marketing challenge. It’s not enough for a queen to be talented; they need to be able to get those talents out there for the world to see. Whether it’s season one’s Oprah challenge, season two’s autobiography, or season four’s Dragazines, a queen has to know how to get the word out about herself. So when Ru made this season’s batch of queens create and sell a signature fragrance, it separated the frontrunners from the hoi polloi. Who came out on top? This week, it was …

Alaska – Winner

The editors of Drag Race seem to have been setting up Alaska as this season’s underdog, as exemplified by weeks of just barely getting edged out of the win by other queens. Thankfully, this week saw Alaska finally get the win she deserves, thanks to a surprisingly beautiful scent, a commercial that hit all the right notes of glamour and humour, and a runway look that showed off a new silhouette that I just adored. Congrats, Alaska! Keep it up and you can make it to the end!

Alyssa Edwards – Bottom 2

Alyssa is fast becoming this season’s Jiggly Caliente: She’s a sweet, well-meaning queen who just seems confused most of the time, and who at this point is hanging on by the strength of her lip syncs. Alyssa has been hovering around the bottom for weeks now, and her performance this week, which featured her serving Buffalo Bill realness in her ad as well as her runway, veered a little creepy. To be honest, her lip synch wasn’t that great either, but … Actually, I’ll save that for a little later. Point is, Alyssa may have a delightfully dorky charm, but she’s hanging on by a thread here, and next episode’s Telenovela challenge doesn’t bode well for her.

Coco Montrese – Safe

GO HOME. GO HOME GO HOME GO HOME GO. HOME. Few queens have ever been as fundamentally soul-eroding as Coco. Her attitude is just toxic, bordering on nuclear. Has she ever said anything nice about anyone in this competition? Some queens have been bitchy and catty, but Coco is just a swirling vortex of negativity, tearing apart anyone she sees as a threat. I’m surprised she didn’t go home this week, since her ad looked like a cheetah abortion, and her choice of wearing leopard print, while lying on a leopard recliner in front of a leopard screen, made it look like a caustic, venomous head floating around in a sea of spots. Thankfully, her performances have been as empty and needless as her attitude, so chance are she’ll be going home soon.

Detox – Top 3

Phew, thank all that is unholy that Detox turned it out this week. I’ve been a little worried about Detox, because she’s been kind of up in the air for the past couple weeks, but this week she used some of that edgy humour to put together a hysterical ad campaign for Heroine. (By Heroine, I mean her perfume, not the drug. Stay sober, kiddies!) Admittedly, her runway outfit looked a bit like Santino Rice’s version of lingerie, but other than that, she re-established herself as one of this season’s frontrunners.

Ivy Winters – Sashay Away

As I said in the opening paragraph, it’s not enough to be talented in this competition: You need to be able to pop, and make people want to see those talents. Ivy may be the Kim Possible of drag (she can do anything!) but unfortunately, Ivy’s failing step has been her inability to really sell her personality and her character. Her ad campaign for her fragrance, Dress Code, wasn’t necessarily bad, but save for a snappy dress change, it didn’t have a lot going for it. Combine that with her 80’s figure skating look and her odd decision to stand in one place during an up-tempo lip synch, and Ivy kinda took herself out of the running.

Jinkx Monsoon – Top 3

At this point, Jinkx is the odds-on favourite to win. Not only has she never been in the bottom, but save for the first two weeks, she’s been in the top 3 every single episode. Her performance this week was, of course, top notch, playing her comedic sensibilities to their fullest extent and serving a super glamorous look on the runway. Her makeup skills have been improving in the competition, and barring any major screw ups, Jinkx could very well be the top bitch this season. Also, I’ve kinda been pegging Rotox as this season’s rumoured kai kai, but her and Ivy? That shipping needs to happen.

Roxxxy Andrews – Bottom 3

Roxxxy was a frontrunner when she first stepped out of the gate, but I think at this point her star’s fading pretty fast. It’s not that Roxxxy is a bad queen, but at this point she’s stuck in a rut of “I’m juicy and I’m sassy!” and she doesn’t seem to know how to get herself out of it. Her commercial wasn’t necessarily bad, but like Ivy’s, it wasn’t great, and her runway outfit could have used corset or a bustier to really define her waist and bring out the best in her hips, tits and ass. In all likelihood, I see her making the top 4, and possibly even the top 3, but at this point she’s going to have to come harder.