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Rolling Stone: Not a fan of the Kardashians!

Rolling Stone: Not a fan of the Kardashians!
September 11, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Confession time: There’s nothing I enjoy more than an out-of-left-field slam on the Kardashian family. The less build-up there is to it, the more I enjoy it, because it reflects my own seething hatred for the Kardashians and what they represent. So here’s Rolling Stone taking a huge dump on America’s first family of vapid, narcissistic awfulness. Why? Why not. Take it and enjoy the schadenfreude …

The Kardashians are the last ladies standing in reality TV because they’ve simply always believed they were celebrities – endlessly amused with themselves, endlessly oblivious to one another. Their vanity is impervious to the outside world, which is how many of us often wish our own personal vanity worked. Their gargantuan egos, their petty jealousies, their catty feuds, the effort-vs.-eye-roll they put into reciting their lines, their commitment to frivolity at all costs – these are seductive qualities in a reality-TV star, however repugnant they might be in real life. Whatever it is you watch reality TV for, the Kardashians just have a lot more of it.

Occasionally, the sisters will meet and mate with a human male who will regard them with curiosity, lust, maybe even warmth, only to find their company irksome. The sisters are always surprised when this happens. Why? They just are. They do not learn, grow, mature, suffer, any of that HBO Sunday-night business. They do, however, take pole-dancing classes. And get mad when Mom crashes the pole-dancing classes.

See? See what I mean? There was no real reason for that, other than petty vindictiveness towards someone who absolutely deserves it, and it’s just fantastic. Across the board A+’s. That’s the power of focusing the web’s hate onto one specific, oh-so-hateable target.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.