R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety!

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

Like a groundhog seeing his shadow fortelling six more weeks of winter, Dina Lohan is visiting her daughter Lindsay Lohan in Los Angeles, which can mean one and only one thing: Every liquor store, wine boutique and beer shop is about come into one gigantic fucking windfall. Well, Lindsay had a good sober run, but if anyone can throw her off the wagon and under the bus, it’s mom Dina.

Dina landed at LAX this afternoon with her other children: Ali, Michael Jr., and Cody. Lindsay hasn’t seen them since she got out of rehab, so she’s overdue for a little QT with the fam. And if this whole necklace mess goes the wrong way, it might be the last time she sees them for a while … again. SOURCE

Yeah, she’s doomed.

Dina: Lindsay! How’ve you been! You remember your brothers … Mario and Luigi?
Lindsay: Not their actual names.
Dina: Whatever. And look! It’s your sister! The less successful and famous one I can’t make $$$ off of.
Ali: Sometimes I pray for your death, mother.
Dina: Oh you just need a quick bump. Lindsay, you look sober, have you been drinking enough?
Lindsay: No, but I suddenly feel the need to catch up …

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.