Dear Joan Rivers,
Where do I even begin? I’ve been dreading writing this letter to you, yet I knew this day would come, as it comes for all of us eventually. I always swore when your number was up, I would lose my mind–which is happening but I’m trying to keep myself from becoming completely unglued because that would be a mess you certainly wouldn’t want to clean up! Of course you wanted tears and you got ’em–including a week-long worldwide vigil–yet I know how fast you would want everyone to get back on laughter which is truly the best medicine around. Knowing you are waiting on the other side to keep the laughs going makes me feel more at ease when it comes time for my credits to roll.
However, I definitely wasn’t prepared to say goodbye today, but how does one prepare for the loss of a legend? That’s exactly what you were–a LEGEND. Oh my Joan–you were a true pioneer–a comedy icon–blazing trails like no one else! You paved the way for all female (and many male) comedians working today (hey Sarah Silverman) with your nearly five decade career. The list of people who should forever be thankful to you is seriously way too long to start rattling off now … your passing has completely unleashed social media–everyone is talking about you–including oh so many celebrities, you would be quite impressed by the outpouring of emotion, we all love you!
I’ve been a total diehard fan of yours for as long as I can remember–my earliest memory of your incredible wit and humor was when I discovered a paperback copy of your 1975 book Having a Baby Can Be a Scream that my mom had before I was born. Over the years you have been a constant fixture in my life, from watching your daytime talk show to you triumphantly winning the Emmy you so deserved after things hit rock bottom with the loss of Edgar. From the red carpet to Fashion Police to your reality show with your partner in crime Melissa Rivers and your adorable grandson Cooper–and then there was your whole QVC empire from clothes to jewelry–oh and remember when you won Celebrity Apprentice? What didn’t you do in your lifetime? You had an AMAZING life–I know you agree and are proud of everything single thing you accomplished during your 81 years here on earth.
You were an early advocate for the gay community, always standing beside us along with helping to raise money and awareness for AIDS when it was so desperately needed. You didn’t waiver–you knew who you were and always stuck to your guns–never backing down–living a life with zero regrets. Plus you were an animal lover (just like me)–always treating your pets to the best life possible. Your jokes were always brutally honest (your sense of humor will forever be listed under A1 in my book) and I hope people realize how brutally honest your heart truly was. Behind the laughter, there was always your warmth and caring ways … please stop me now from getting too schmaltzy tonight.
You just kicked ass until the end. You always said you would never retire and you didn’t–I take comfort knowing you were on stage killing it the night before things quickly headed south. I bet my bottom dollar that you were cracking jokes on your way to that damn out patient surgery procedure–you weren’t fucking around when you said you would work right up to the bitter end. Joan–you have inspired me to fully live each and every minute–I bet minutes are taking a much needed deep breath right now because you totally wore them out–each and every damn second–never skipping one.
I don’t want to ramble–I could probably spend all night on this letter (I already have), I just need you to know how much you will be missed and how loved you truly were. My heart goes out to Melissa and Cooper along with the rest of your family and friends. I do however have one question, that I’m dying (pardon the pun) to know the answer to … did you find Edgar yet? You always joked that when you finally saw him again, you were going to kill him for ditching you and Melissa! Whatever you’re doing–whether it’s Edgar or standup comedy–you’re killing it up above! I love and adore you–so missing your unique, unrepeatable spirit! Yes, they broke the mold when you were born Joan … you were truly one of a kind and there will never be a replacement for the (red carpet) spot you left behind.
PS Please send my regards to Johnny, I am confident you two have already worked things out!