Well holy shit, I really didn’t see this one coming: actress Reese Witherspoon was hospitalized yesterday after being hit by a car while jogging. In a completely unrelated note, Gwyneth Paltrow was seen in her mansion, polishing her religion bookshelf while muttering to herself about how she was going to save everyone from terrorists … everyone … TMZ reports:
Reese Witherspoon was rushed to a Santa Monica hospital around 11am this morning, after a car struck the actress while she was jogging. Law enforcement tells TMZ, Reese’s injuries were very minor — nothing life-threatening. According to law enforcement, the driver was an 84-year-old woman. We’re told Reese was crossing the street at the time of the accident … and the driver failed to stop.
First off, what is my grandmother doing in L.A.? Second, I’m glad Reese is okay and that she isn’t facing any serious or permanent injuries. Because everyone here likes her, even if we do also like making fun of her. All our mockery comes from love here. Well, except for our mockery of Courtney Stodden. Or Paris Hilton. Or the Kardashians. Actually, very little of our mockery comes from love … never mind.