…and we are up & running! i have some red bull & some red wine for a bit later – a brand new pack of cigarettes (yeah i smoke…for now but i am cutting back…) i have been watching E! for the past half hour – host ryan seacrest has a horrible tuxedo on – i just don’t like it – i will be switching back & forth between seacrest & the rivers ladies over on tv guide…i’m a little nervous for my live blogging but it should be fine – i just want to make it fun for you all & fun for myself too…ok so keep checking back here…
so what kinda bird did joan rivers kill and wrap around her boobline? she looks ok – i would say ditch those sunglasses though – daugher melissa is wearing something a bit more elegant and demure than she usually does – she looks classy…naomi watts looks like she wants to run away from mr. seacrest – so odd to have them sitting on a couch – the E! coverage is bit off so far for me…
the only actresses i have seen so far have been nominees rachel weisz (super pregnant) & amy adams (looking adorable) – i also spotted jennifer jason leigh – and of course you had ms. watts with seacrest..things are a bit slow – the pace needs to get picked up! and tons of commercials…oh isaac has hottie & supporting actor nominee matt dillon – he should grope him and see if he is wearing any underwear!
joan rivers does amy adams – she took home the indie spirit award last night for her performance in junebug – amy is up for the oscar as well – the actress race is the one everyone seems to be buzzing about – i predict reese witherspoon will nab the award – although i would prefer to see felicity huffman win – did joan really see ‘junebug’?
the helicopters hovering above my apartment are starting to get on my nerves – so many commercials!
E! is so boring right now – why is seacrest sitting down with tyson? congrats to joan & melissa for bringing us the proper coverage! i am so glad the sun is shining – it was questionable weather for a bit – but it is a beautiful day here in hollywood!
oh joan & gary busey – i always confuse him with mr. messy nick nolte – that busey is so fucking weird though! what a lame joke he just told joan – what’s a smart blonde? a golden retriever…lame gary – lame
oh there is my dolly parton looking great in pink – she is just so darned adorable – sweet – and very funny – oh there is keira knightley with her smokey vamp eyes – she does look stunning! i still can’t believe how young she is! you couldn’t pay me to sit thru pride & prejudice though…oh george clooney looks dashing as always – he is so highly likable – i love him! isaac should feel him up too!
oh i am not sure how i feel about michelle williams – she looks kinda harlequin like – the lips are way too red – that yellow/gold/orangish dress just isn’t working for me – boyfriend heath leadger looks handsome as usual…
jack nicholson is in the house – everyone is starting to arrive now! isaac is doing keira now – i love her hair color & necklace – right now she is for sure one of the best dressed so far – i hate how E! is having seacrest ask questions from up above – he should be down on the carpet – it’s almost 4pm – the awards start in just over an hour! are we having fun yet? i think i will crack open the wine around 5pm to really kick things into high gear!
i love them both but i am sure joan rivers and dolly parton have a lot of notes to compare – seeing them both together was quite a trip-out – dolly’s date for the oscars is director of transamerica mr. duncan tucker…
please just keep joan with actors & actresses – oh i feel bad for director of capote bennett miller – she just doesn’t seem to have some of her facts very straight – back to melissa – although we are on a clooney / rivers standby alert – george & joan are the best together!
here is the clooney / rivers action! he is going to be drunk in about an hour & a half he tells joan – i don’t think he has a date – he seems to be going stag as usual – joan labels him a simple guy – she must wanna climb on top of him so bad – i do bet he will at least walk away with the best supporting actor for syriana – now she has aussie hottie eric bana who stars in munich – this is his first academy awards – those aussies are so hot!
lauren hutton is always so classy & cool – although her outfit is way too casual – it’s kinda a big bore – she must have talked with diane keaton this morning – oh joan with the 36 mafia – don’t let joan deal this – painful! this will be the very first time a rap song is performed on the oscars and will include the word bitches! oh fun! the song is nominated and is from the flick hustle & flow
i think E! has the seacrest radio show going on – so chatty & trying to be funny – i think they are very boring – i swear TV guide’s joan & melissa are kicking red carpet ass – E! did have better grammy coverage but for the oscar’s it is joan & melissa all the way!
some of this is all going so fast – i am keeping up fairly well though! if you have comments please post them or email me direct at email@example.com – and i will make sure you are heard! ah felicity huffman is all donned in black – everyone seems to be leaning towards the darker colors tonight – and isaac just talked with jessica alba who is wearing a cute little gold versace number – i am surprised he didn’t ask her about all that playboy cover drama! she should fucking sue their asses off! oh and now joan has will smith and wanna be metal head wife jada pinkett-smith – she looks good – just please don’t let her sing today!
talk talk talk – oh E! shut up already and bring us the stars! it’s like a big coffee klatch between seacrest, isaac, and guiliana – boring! nicole kidman is looking very natural and beautiful – i love her hair down like that – that girl from crash is wearing that bright yellow dress – you sure don’t see much of that color floating around – oh look it’s sweet little ang lee with joan rivers – i predict he will nab the oscar for best director for brokeback mountain – although i am predicting that crash will walk off with the gold for best picture – i could be wrong – soon all shall be revealed! are you having any fun yet??? :)
fuck! is the red carpet over already? what the hell? that literally flew by! well i guess i am going to switch over to ABC and then i must go take my dogs out for a walk – so i can be ready when the awards start at 5pm! check you all soon!
ok i am back! see lots of people in black – like jen aniston in that long flowing number – i hope it isn’t an ‘in mourning dress’ – we all know that pity party is long over – she looked great though – good for her! now we also have reese witherspoon who is so sweet & adorable but that dress seemed to ‘old’ for her – i would have like to seen something more sexy and fun – altho her unshaven hubby ryan phillippe is super sexy and i hope for her lots of fun…
quick photo #1 – five more minutes until the big show!
at last the show is about to begin – good luck to first time host jon stewart…i can’t wait for the first big award…and now it’s time to crack open my wine! woo hoo – i hope everyone is having a blast! i am having fun keeping up with all this!
what a great opening! i loved seeing all the previous hosts – not sure about that whole mel gibson bit which seemed like a plug for his new movie – but i loved stewart in bed with halle beery and then george clooney! how clever – and waking up with halle or george would make anyone’s day! ok only 3 more hours to go!
ha – raise your hand if you are not in crash! stewart is doing an awesome job so far at hosting – his opening bit has been perfect! loved the dick cheney/björk joke (she was getting ready and he shot her…) and then we see best actress nominee charlize theron – i love her in that dark green dress – not sure about the big ass bow on her shoulder but she looks super hot! oh and this vintage look at gay cowboys is so funny! be back shortly!
first award of the evening for best supporting actor (given by nicole kidman) goes to…george clooney in ‘syriana’ – my first prediction was right! woo hoo!
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
George Clooney in ‘Syriana’
Matt Dillon in ‘Crash’
Paul Giamatti in ‘Cinderella Man’
Jake Gyllenhaal in ‘Brokeback Mountain’
William Hurt in ‘A History of Violence’
ben stiller does a super dumb bit about visual effects – the oscar goes to…the good people who did king kong – my second prediction is dead on too! rock on!
reese witherspoon presents the oscar for best animated feature to the people who did wallace & gromit (ok i lost on that one…i predicted the corpse bride to win – did you all see how weird tim burton and wife helena bonham carter look? they look like a lounge act from vegas!) – besides all that i still hate that dress reese is wearing! it looks granny to me…
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM OF THE YEAR
‘Howl’s Moving Castle’ (Buena Vista)
‘Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride’ (Warner Bros.)
‘Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit’ (DreamWorks)
oh here she is! naomi watts introduced my country gal dolly parton – she looks and sounds great – altho i found her white pant suit to be a bit weird – i always picture her in a skirt but she could sing in a trash bag and i would still love her – what a great song – dolly better win the oscar or i’m gonna freak out! oh i love dolly!
oh those wilson brother luke & owen – if i had to pick one brother to take home – i think it would be owen…they are presenting for short live action film which goes to the film ‘six shooter’ – did anyone see any of the shorts? they should post ’em online so at least people can see them! and now we have ‘chicken little’ dealing with the best animated short – which goes to ‘the moon and the son: an imagined conversation’ – it might be a short film but not its title…
jen aniston flying solo presents the oscar for best costume design – and the oscar goes to…colleen atwood for ‘memoirs for a geisha’ – damn i am going down on my predictions – i thought the lady who did ‘walk the line’ would nab the oscar – oh well – it all does come down to one big guessing game! and now with have russell crowe talking about something – he actually looks fairly cleaned up and decent – i hate when he is sporting that nasty long hair…
quick photo #2
first hour down – two more to go! and i even have my good friends gillian & brad reading all this nonsense – rock on guys! did you see michelle williams? oi vey – i know that her and heath live in your hood! so next time you see her – tell her to calm herself down on the circus costumes…right now we have funny men steve carell & will ferrell presenting for best make-up – and the oscar goes to…’the chronicles of narnia’ – my predictions are back on track – i nailed this one! woo hoo!
anybody want to have target practice on rachel mcadams chest? oh i hate that dress!
morgan freeman hands out the oscar for best supporting actress to…rachel weisz in ‘the constant gardner’ – fuck did they just say that she was in both ‘mummy’ movies – oh my word – she is fucking lucky then! but i did predict that she would win…
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Amy Adams in ‘Junebug’
Catherine Keener in ‘Capote’
Frances McDormand in ‘North Country’
Rachel Weisz in ‘The Constant Gardener’
Michelle Williams in ‘Brokeback Mountain’
nobody fucks with lauren bacall – what an amazing lady and living legend! god bless her! she seems like she is getting up there in the years yet still looks amazing – oh i hope she is ok…it was obvious that she was having some troubles…we love you lauren!
oh i loved those ‘fake’ commercials poking fun of the best actress race – it is surely a tight one this year – next up is nominee terence howard passing out the oscar for best documentary short subject which goes to ‘a note of triumph’ – i lost out on that one – i just randomly picked ‘god sleeps in rwanda’ – oh well you guess some right & and you guess some wrong…ah here comes my diva charlize theron who i think looks amazing – some may disagree – maybe the dress isn’t perfect but the color is SO perfect with her skin tone and hair – she is passing out the award for best documentary and the oscar goes to ‘march of the penguins’ – which i correctly predicted! rock on!
i think that jennifer lopez looks way too tan – her hair is so damn tight you could crack an egg on her face and she has her usual ‘i’m such a puta aka whore’ attitude on…we all know i basically can’t stand her but i will give her props on the dress – i like her in green but of course she has troll husband marc anthony in tow with her – but i will say one thing – that gal ain’t pregnant at all – so any rumors on that front are over for now…
quick photo #3 & we are at the halfway mark (that is if they don’t run over – which i am so sure they will)
keanu reeves looks so fucking hot with that short hair! and sandra bullock isn’t looking so bad either – they are both up presenting the oscar for best art direction which goes to ‘memoirs of a geisha’ – i so wanted to see that movie but then there were all those horrible reviews – i must see it when it drops on DVD…i wrongly predicted ‘king kong’ would nab this one…
oh such good times with the president of the academy…BORING! move it along people!
selma hayek is dealing with best original score – perlman is doing a bit from each nominated film – she is a cute lady but that blue dress may be too blue…and the little gold man goes to the people who scored the film ‘brokeback mountain’ – shimmy down – i predicted that correctly too! the score to that film is haunting – it so deserved to win!
almost two hours down – one hour to go – this is my 40th update since 3pm – oh my word! i hope you all are enjoying this! i am! the wine is flowing i have my groove on! these awards only come around once a year – are we having fun yet? i think so…especially since jake gyllenhaal just arrived – he looks so adorable in his tuxedo and with his scruffy beard i could eat that boy alive! i don’t even know what he is talking about – he is just dreamy!
oh those sexy people jessica alba & eric bana present the oscar for best sound mixing to ‘king kong’ – another one i nailed on the head! and now lily tomlin & meryl streep (we love them!) are presenting a very special lifetime achievement award to awesome director robert altman (love ‘shortcuts’) – meryl actually has a decent dress on for a change – although these two are loopy as all hell…i guess it is a great tribute to mr. altman though – they are so funny!
quick photo #4 – i am having fun making this collages!
ludacris is up introducing 36 mafia who are performing the 3rd nominated song ‘it’s hard out here for a pimp’ – the song is quite fierce but my dolly parton needs to win this award – if she doesn’t i am going to jump off my blacony – oh please let dolly win…
oh see – queen latifah is dressed in black too – black is so the new pink – she is about to pass the award out for best song – i so hope it goes to dolly parton – the big moment is here…and the award goes to…FUCK…FUCK…it goes to ‘it’s hard out here for a pimp’ – ms. parton was robbed – shit this ruins my evening – i am SO bummed – no i won’t jump off my balcony but i am so upset over this one…it’s hard out here for my ass – OH I AM PISSED!
i am trying to calm down over that whole parton upset! the award is no being passed out for sound editing – jennifer garner is here to present in an awful off-white dress – where is ben? has anyone seen him? she looks good but damn her titties are huge plus her earrings are huge too! and the award goes to ‘king kong’ – another prediction correct!
george clooney presents the always sad ‘in memoriam’ – so many great ones lost this year…sandra dee, barbara bel geddes, chris penn, brock peters, shelley winters, anne bancroft, eddie albert, ismail merchant, robert wise, richard pryor…rip…
will smith is announcing the award for best foreign language film which goes to ‘tsotsi’ – i wrongly picked ‘paradise now’ – my friend cathy will be quite excited since her family originally hails from south africa – it does look like a great film!
quick photo #5
hilary swank looking great (and in black!) is about to pass out the award for best actor…philip seymour hoffman in ‘capote’ – i knew it! (and i missed this one but ‘crash’ took home the oscar for best editing)
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Philip Seymour Hoffman in ‘Capote’
Terrence Howard in ‘Hustle & Flow’
Heath Ledger in ‘Brokeback Mountain’
Joaquin Phoenix in ‘Walk the Line’
David Strathairn in ‘Good Night, and Good Luck.’
we are getting down to the wire – of course the show will run over three hours – i need to eat soon…i think there is only six more awards…
kinda creepy john travolta is about to give out the award for best cinematography – which goes to the guy who filmed ‘memoirs of a geisha’ – which has won a lot of random awards tonight – the film may look good but that doesn’t make it good…five more rewards remain!
jamie foxx is now announcing the nominees for the very tight best actress race and the award goes to…reese witherspoon for ‘walk the line’ – i did predict this right but i really wished that felicity would have won…
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Judi Dench in ‘Mrs. Henderson Presents’
Felicity Huffman in ‘Transamerica’
Keira Knightley in ‘Pride & Prejudice’
Charlize Theron in ‘North Country’
Reese Witherspoon in ‘Walk the Line’
quick photo #6 – probably the last one…
we are now in overtime…dustin hoffman is here to present the award for best adapted screenplay – i think i have this prediction in the bag…and the award goes to the people who wrote & adapted ‘brokeback mountain’ – i totally called this one! rock on! go larry & diana!
oh uma thurman looks fucking hot! damn! she is here to bring on the award for best original screenplay – and the oscar heads to the people who wrote…’crash’ – i nailed this prediction too!
two more awards to go! oh i am growing tired of all this – i was having fun but the reality of monday is quickly headed our way…i hope you all have enjoyed my live blogging…it has been over five hours now – after tonight i don’t want to hear the word oscar for at least six months…
tom hanks – oh i am SO happy that ang lee won for best director of ‘brokeback mountain’ – i am so proud & thrilled – he totally deserves it and i so predicted that he would win – i don’t think it will win best picture but i really hope it does…oh i am getting all teary eyed – such an important movie!
ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
‘Brokeback Mountain’ (Focus Features), Ang Lee
‘Capote’ (UA/Sony Pictures Classics), Bennett Miller
‘Crash’ (Lions Gate), Paul Haggis
‘Good Night, and Good Luck.’ (Warner Independent Pictures), George Clooney
‘Munich’ (Universal and DreamWorks), Steven Spielberg
jack nicholson just announced as i predicted – ‘crash’ won best picture of the year – i am 14 for 10 on my predictions – not too bad – would have loved to see ‘brokeback’ take this award but i know ‘crash’ would prove to be an upset…
BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
‘Brokeback Mountain’ (Focus Features)
‘Capote’ (UA/Sony Pictures Classics)
‘Crash’ (Lions Gate)
‘Good Night, and Good Luck.’ (Warner Independent Pictures)
‘Munich’ (Universal and DreamWorks)
this is my 59th update since 3pm – i am so done with the oscars – i am moving on! i had a blast doing this – i hope some of you enjoyed keeping up with my oscar musings – i am going to eat & get ready to deal with monday…check back tomorrow – of course i will be around – so…good night & good luck…popbytes over & super out…xxoo!