pop nosh: roseanne despises angelina jolie

† roseanne barr doesn’t have anything nice to say about angelina jolie at all… holy moly

† the history of ‘xenu’ – as explained by l. ron hubbard himself (scientology is so whack) gawker

† congrats to ellen degeneres and portia di rossi – the couple wed over the weekend! popsugar

† these pictures of little suri cruise are seriously beyond adorable seriously? omg! wtf?

† heath ledger’s co-stars are helping to make sure matilda is taken care of celebrity baby scoop

† john mayer had lots to say when asked about breaking up w/ jen aniston webster’s is my bitch

† katy perry’s religious folks are not fans of her massive hit ‘i kissed a girl’ celebrity smack

† courtney semel is spilling more beans about her relationship w/ lindsay lohan the blemish

† olympic hottie michael phelps made history by nabbing 8 gold medals in beijing cele|bitchy

† new mom jennifer lopez is busy training for the 22nd annual malibu triathlon… dlisted

† this past weekend bernie mac was laid to rest in his hometown of chicago a socialite’s life

† olive garden wants kendra wilkinson to be quiet about her love of the place… candy kirby

† kim kardashian wants to be a plus-sized pussycat doll (site NSFW) drunken stepfather

† you might want to think twice before agreeing to be in tyra banks’ audience… celebwarship

† kristen bell bikini pictures are fun egotastic

† tom cruise demonstrates the ‘keep your woman back’ handholding technique agent bedhead

† lilly allen isn’t quite sure what’s up w/ her 2nd album (which is now complete) i’m not obsessed

† kate beckinsale thought the paparazzi caught her without panties in case you didn’t know

† what the hell was paula abdul wearing at the ALMA awards? (it’s way outta control) l.a. rag mag

† could messy amy winehouse ever become an olympic gymnast? pretty on the outside

BONUS LIST eight rides they should build at the roman disneyland… best week ever