pop nosh: michael jackson is not dying

† michael ‘wacko’ jackson isn’t dying because he actually died years ago…sad but true dlisted

† what does ashlee simpson’s breast milk taste like? just ask hubby pete wentz a socialite’s life

† tom cruise lays down the rules when it comes to nicole kidman & their kids i’m not obsessed

† jake gyllenhaal can propose all he wants – reese isn’t getting married anytime soon! cele|bitchy

† amy winehouse is busy making friends down in st. lucia – and she’s looking better! celebwarship

† your first look at naomi watts’ new baby boy samuel kai schreiber in case you didn’t know

† paris hilton made a public plea for her jewels – then went shopping w/ her pink bentley popsugar

† everybody watch out – britney spears is getting back behind the driving wheel! celebslam

† scarlett johannson’s snotty tissue sold on ebay for over $5,000 bucks! webster’s is my bitch

† barack obama is vacationing down in hawaii before becoming president! celebrity smack

† suri cruise has her own fan club – she receives up to a hundred letters a day! gabby babble

† sign of the apocalypse #764: heidi montag and spencer pratt want a baby! candy kirby

† lindsay lohan’s girlfriend DJ samantha ronson is doing much better! seriously? omg! wtf?

† sexy robert pattinson earned his porn ‘stache credentials playing salvador dali agent bedhead

† pussycat dolls got in the holiday spirit with latex & corsets (site NSFW) drunken stepfather

† lily allen is topless too! egotastic

† jennifer lopez sends out spies to keep an eye on hubby marc anthony… the blemish

† heid montag and spencer pratt make out in public every chance they get – yuck! the bastardly

† mary-kate olsen discovered the silver lining to the recession – great bargains! pop on the pop

† oh we saw loads of cameltoe during 2008 – can you match the toe to the camel? cityrag

† twenty geniously retarded gift ideas for under $20 bucks! (retardedly amazing) best week ever

BONUS BRITNEY LINK 2008 year in review – the britney spears timeline! popsquire

BONUS PICS DAVID BECKHAM READY TO PLAY FOR AC MILAN (ITALY, 12/21/08)

PHOTOS | WENN