When it was announced that Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was pregnant, everyone immediately jumped on the easy 2012 jokes, but I went ahead and gave her the benefit of the doubt. Hey, she might not be the smartest cookie, but at least she cares and has the means necessary to care for a kid. Well, turns out I was wrong, because these words about having Pauly D play music in the delivery room left her mouth and landed smack on People‘s website:
“She told me she wants me to deejay the delivery room,” Pauly Delvecchio, 31, tells People. “I told her I’ll just deejay the baby shower.” His baby shower role will have to come in between his deejaying at Las Vegas’s Hard Rock Hotel, where he is beginning a deejaying residency, as well as his show The Pauly D Project, which premieres on MTV March 29. While he won’t be in charge of the baby shower, he has thought about what a Pauly D baby shower would look like for his Jersey Shore cast mate. “I would have spray tan booths in the corner, because she loves to tan, and a lot of loud music,” he says. “I’d have pickles everywhere, too.”
Yes, because why not have the first thing your kids hears as they come out of the womb be shitty house music? It’s not like house music won’t age terribly and be seen as nothing but a trashy fad by future generations. Although to be fair, the kid probably won’t be able to hear anything over the screaming that comes with passing something the size of a watermelon out of a bodily passage that is in no way made to accommodate something of that size.