As we all know, people who text during movies are the opposite of the best because they are THE WORST. Which is why the Alamo Drafthouse brought in director Jason Reitman and funny guy Patton Oswalt to remind you all to not talk or text during the movies. If you do, those around you are allowed to forcibly insert your cell phone into your rectum. If you can text using the walls of your anus, then you can use your cell phone. If not, shut up! Also: people who ask questions during the movie – no, I do not know what’s going to happen next, because I’m watching it for the first time too. Please stop asking!
