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Paris Hilton earned $1.3 Billion since 2005!

Paris Hilton earned $1.3 Billion since 2005!
January 5, 2012 JEREMY FEIST
Paris Hilton

I almost feel like I should put the word “earned” in quotation marks … oh well, coulda shoulda woulda. In news that I have no doubt will fill you with the kind of all-consuming rage unseen since LeAnn Rimes accidentally consumed the other half of the Tic Tac she was having for lunch, Paris Hilton told FHM that she’s earned $1.3 BILLION since 2005 thanks to her many product lines. Hey, remember that famewhore tax I mentioned yesterday that would help fund schools? Yeah. Via Us Weekly:

“I’m involved in my products every step of the way. My fragrances are doing really well at the moment,” Hilton tells FHM UK‘s January issue. “They’ve produced more than $1.3 billion in revenue since 2005. I have 35 stores and 17 product lines. And then there’s my racing team, my 14 fragrances and my new project, the Paris Hilton Beach Club chain. The first one is opening in the Philippines soon. It’s going to have nightclubs, restaurants, bars, gyms. Everything really.”

I want you to just conceptualize this real quick: not only did Paris Hilton somehow manage to land seventeen product lines, but enough people actually looked at her and thought “yes, I want to be like whatever that is someday!” to pretty much give her more money than the GDP of most countries. Also: how does Paris have fourteen fragrances? I didn’t think you could put the smell of misanthropy and skank into fourteen different bottles and sell them to gullible morons, but clearly I thought wrong.

Paris Hilton