oh lindsay, will you ever win?

oh lindsay, will you ever win?
July 2, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

So today Lindsay Lohan celebrates the fact that she’s gone another year without dying from alcohol poisoning / a drug overdose / terrible parenting, and she went out last night to celebrate her 24th birthday the way only Lindsay can: Getting punched by a waitress! You know your career is in serious shit when you’re stealing moves out of Snooki‘s playbook.

“A waitress just hit me – punched me for no reason,” she tweeted early Friday morning. According to Us Lindsay Lohan was at Voyeur when it went down:

“The waitress has a history with Doug Reinhardt, and Lohan was hanging out with him. She was jealous, and out of nowhere, the waitress punched her in the face!” the insider tells Us. “Doug didn’t want any part of it and went to the other side of the booth. Lohan ran out.” SOURCE

Personally, I wouldn’t worry too much about the girl. This is Lilo we’re talking about; at this point she’s had so much botox and cocaine that she’s completely lost all sensation in her face. You could break a chair over face and she’d probably think it was a gentle summer breeze. Apparently, there’s an upside to snorting so much blow that your nose legally counts as a district of Columbia.