Oh for God’s sake, just shut up already, Heidi!

Oh for God’s sake, just shut up already, Heidi!
November 26, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

For those of you wondering about Heidi Montag‘s recent rehashing of the “Oh, look how many surgeries I’ve had!” bit, it turns out it was for an ABC special called Celebrity Plastic Surgery Gone Too Far? Seriously. This is a real thing. Anyway, if you honestly don’t think this entire thing isn’t one huge publicity grab so that you won’t think Heidi hasn’t fallen off the face of the Earth, click the little red X in the corner of your screen. You are too stupid for the internet.

Heidi Montag, who underwent more than 10 procedures in just one day, shared her painful memories and emotions during her journey for perfection. “I thought that first night that I came out of the hospital I was going to die out of pain,” Montag said. “I didn’t think I could physically endure that much pain. I looked like I was hit by a truck. My body went through so much trauma.” SOURCE

Oh boo-goddamn-hoo. What did you think was going to happen when you paid someone thousands of dollars to have a famewhoring doctor cut off chunks of your body? The human body was not made to handle having your internal organs scooped out and replaced with the pink fluff used to insulate houses. I mean sure, you’ll be warm, but how will you poop?