Remember that God awful rap song that Spencer Pratt shat out onto the Internet that was supposed to be a shill for KFC? Well it turns out they heard it, and instead of doing what any rational business would do by sending a cease and desist letter or carpet-bombing his parent’s pool house where he lives, they want to help him unleash it on humanity.
In the letter, Eaton says, “We heard the song came out before it was fully cooked, and that you were just winging it as a first cut. So on behalf of the entire Kentucky Fried Chicken family, we want to make you an offer so good you can’t resist.” Chicken puns … free of charge. Eaton continues, “We’re willing to help you tune up the track and even turn it into a tasty music video, featuring the Colonel himself. That is, if you’re not chicken.” SOURCE
This is why I don’t eat KFC. No, not just because their chicken is covered in fat and I enjoy unclogged arteries, but because they would employ Spencer as anything other than a janitor. You people are enablers, you hear me? ENABLERS! Never again will you tempt me with your weirdly delicious chicken skin which I’m pretty sure will some day kill me dead.