Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber have followed some strangely parallel career paths: Both were pushed into the limelight by their parents well before they had the maturity to handle it. Both decided to rebel against their squeaky-clean images by turning into white trash. And now, apparently they’re tied to one another for life as Miley is now mentoring Justin, in a move that I’m sure will have no downsides whatsoever. Via Us Weekly …
“I’m not that much older than him, so I never want it to feel like I’m mentoring him,” she told the magazine. “But I do mentor him in a way. Because I’ve been doing this sh-t for a long time, and I already transitioned, and I don’t think he’s quite done it yet.”
“He’s trying really hard,” she said. “People don’t take him seriously, but he really can play the drums, he really can play the guitar, he really can sing. I just don’t want to see him f–k that up, to where people think he’s Vanilla Ice. I tell him that.”
According to Cyrus, part of Bieber’s growing pains stem from the fact that he’s a “boy,” and therefore, still not quite mature enough to deal with the difficulties of the limelight. Namely, Cyrus explained, how to avoid being perceived as a “joke.”
“I think boys are, like, seven years behind,” she said with a laugh. “So in his head, he’s really, like, 12.”
Yes, if you’re going to learn how not to become a joke, learn it from someone provided the web with enough material for an entire month’s worth of jokes. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of this mentorship …
Miley: So your parents sold you out too and you want a way to get back at them?
Justin: More than you could ever know.
Miley: It’s easy! Just appropriate another culture and then watch as the internet churns out another bajillion think pieces.
Justin: And what about tattoos and stupid, unflattering fashions? Because I have these pants that make it look like I sh!t myself…
Miley: Perfect. The student has become the master.