Every summer, there’s always one song that I can single out as “the worst”. This year, that honor went to Jason Derulo for “Wiggle,” a song that makes me grind my teeth into powder. Jason has always been the king of hooks that annoyed me to no end, but “Wiggle” holds a special place in my heart for having a hook that’s simultaneously irritating, childish and lecherous. Patton Oswalt has this great bit about how G-rated filth is infinitely creepier and more disgusting than straight-up filth, and “Wiggle” proves it. If you want someone to shake their ass, just say so. Don’t tell me to wiggle by big fat butt, because then you sound like a Disney character running a phone sex line, and that just kills the mood.
Which brings me to Nicki Minaj‘s new music video for her latest single, “Anaconda” which features a guest appearance by her buddy Drake. Is it gratuitous? As all f*ck it is. But it’s way less creepy than “Wiggle” for more than a few reasons. First, it’s a woman singing to other women about her butt, rather than some a-hole coyly telling her to wiggle it for him. Second, it’s direct. It’s upfront. She’s an adult talking to you as an adult about adult things. She’s not talking down to you. Yes, this might be a bit much for some people, but I’ll take a bit much over creepy g-rated bullsh!t any day of the week.