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Nick Hogan is about to get pre-divorced!

Nick Hogan is about to get pre-divorced!
May 9, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Breana Tiesi and Nick Hogan

Despite the fact that he got into a car accident that cost a friend half his fucking head, then sticking his dipstick in Tila Tequila‘s pot o’ herpes, Nick Hogan somehow managed to convince a woman who isn’t his sister (I know, I’m surprised too) to agree to marry him. Apparently, knocking a girl over the head with a folding chair can cause enough brain damage to make you marry Hulk Hogan‘s son. And now you know!

Okay put down the pitchforks, people … Nick tells TMZ, he and his GF of nearly three years — a chick named Breana Tiesi — have been tossing the idea of marriage around for a while now … so the engagement isn’t supposed to be a big surprise. What is the big surprise is the engagement ring — which Nick says he purchased VERY recently to pop the big question in the next few weeks. He wouldn’t give any details about it — but if we were to guess … it’s probably round with some kind of rock on it. SOURCE

Yeah, this is going to end well. Never mind the fact that Nick has all the sense of personal responsibility of a hamster (and the driving abilities to match), consider for a moment that Nick comes from a family where his parents ended up in a bitter divorce where both parties ended up dating people half their age who happened to look exactly like their kids, and you begin to see some red flags. Seriously, I give ’em about four months before they break up and start dating 12-year-old versions of each other.

Breana Tiesi and Nick Hogan