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Miley Cyrus hates kids?

Miley Cyrus hates kids?
February 3, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus is on the cover of W magazine, and — yes, that’s really her. I know, she looks completely different to the point where I literally thought she was another person, but trust me, it’s her. Anyway, in an interview with (hottie) Ronan Farrow, Miley opened up about most of the same sh!t she’s been talking about forever now, so I’m going to glaze over all of that to get to the real meat of this story: Miley hates kids. Which would explain SO MUCH of everything she’s done over the past year.

“I don’t love kids,” [ … ] I begin to respond, but Cyrus is not listening. “I don’t love them because, I mean, I think I was around too many kids at one point—because I was around a lot of kids.”

“They’re so fucking mean,” she continues. “Sometimes I hear kids with their parents, and I want to go over and, like, smack them myself…Like if they meet me, they’ll be like, ‘Mom, don’t you know how to use an iPhone? Like, can you take the picture?’ I’m like, ‘Dude, if I ever talked to my mom like that when I was a kid, I would have had no phone, no computer, no TV, no anything.’ And so, yeah, kids are just mean.”

There are moments where Miley opens her mouth and just barfs out the dumbest stuff you could possibly come up with (see: Clive Davis’ party last week) and then there are moments where she’ll talk about how terrible kids are these days and I respect her a little more. Seriously, we got grounded hardcore for two weeks once, and you know what we did to deserve that? We built a blanket fort and didn’t put it away after. And now kids will Facebook each other to death, and all the adults do is tell “the haters” off and ask others to pray for their child. PARENT YOUR FRIGGIN’ KIDS!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.