Michael Lohan: Lindsay is and isn’t a hooker

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

Over New Years, a severely broke Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to fly to London with her mother so that she could party it up with a rich Prince in exchange for $100,000. Joke all you want, but at least she’s actually doing something that makes her money. So of course, Michael Lohan sniffed the air suspiciously, smelled a story about Lindsay, and immediately ran to RadarOnline to call his daughter a prostitute and Dina Lohan a pimp in exchange for free money …

“She is getting paid to date rich men,” Michael said of his 26-year-old daughter. “Dina (Lindsay’s mother) is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!” And it’s not just the Mean Girls star’s estranged dad who is dishing on her new source of income. “The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything – hotel, travel costs, food, whatever – as well as jewelry and other gifts,” someone close to the actress revealed.

Presumably, Michael realized that Lindsay was still somehow being represented by Shawn Holley, and then realized that he could double his earnings by running to TMZ barely six hours later to say that her never called his daughter a hooker. He just insinuated it in the most obvious language possible:

But Michael insists he was misquoted — telling TMZ, “By absolutely NO MEANS did I ever make such a statement … EVER!” He adds, “Sure, Lindsay and [other celebs] make personal appearances and get paid for it! Sure, she and they get paid to go to birthday parties and other occasions! But for sex? Are you kidding me? I would never say that because she would NEVER do that and it NEVER happened!”

Dear prospective fathers: If you were ever worried that you would somehow screw up your kids, just no that you can never do worse than Michael Lohan. Literally, you cannot do worse.

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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