Someone call Whine-One-One, ’cause Mesh Shirt has a boo-boo

Now that the dust has settled on Michael Lohan‘s latest woman-beating rampage, Michael has just been released from the hospital and in true abusive, misogynistic asshole fashion, he’s claiming up and down that his victim, Kate Major, actually attacked him and that this is all her fault. Which, you know, is something no woman-beater would ever say as long as you don’t count every man who’s ever beaten a loved-one in the history of FUCKING FOREVER.

According to Michael, he never tried to frame Kate by cutting himself with a sharp object — in fact, Michael claims Kate pulled out the object in question … and did the damage herself. But not only that — Michael claims Kate was already trespassing when the fight broke out … because he kicked her out of the apartment a long time ago. And if that wasn’t bad enough … MiLo claims Kate didn’t leave empty-handed — she took off with clothes he had originally bought for Lindsay. SOURCE

Quick little note here: If you look at the cuts on his arm, the angle and the weird parallel between them would probably indicate that he did those himself, which would kinda vindicate the story Kate told the police about how he cut himself and then threatened to tell the police she did it. I guess all in all, you have to sit down and ask yourself, “which one of these people raised Lindsay Lohan?” Case closed. *CHUNG CHUNG*

Michael Lohan

PHOTO | TMZ

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Tila Tequila Tila Tequila announced on Facebook recently that she is ten weeks pregnant! The Blemish
James Franco called a New York Times theater critic a 'little bitch' over a bad review Celebitchy
The Stupid Awards: Jessica Simpson's baby daddy Eric treats their kid like a football! Bohomoth
How cute do Mariah Carey and her hubby Nick Cannon look in their Easter costumes? SOW
Khloé Kardashian and French Montana are said to be casually dating each other! ICYDK
Cameron Diaz claims that model Kate Upton is more than just big ol' titties! Celebslam
OMG, he's naked: Big Brother Canada contestant Kenny Brain's NSFW Grindr pics! OMG Blog
Why anyone would want to use singer Selena Gomez to help sell shoes? Hollywood Tuna
Dolce&Gabbana's eyewear ads with Noah Mills, Evandro Soldati and Adam Senn Oh La La
Remember when Lindsay Lohan wrote a list of dudes she banged and we all saw it? Evil Beet
Miley Cyrus has postponed the remainder of her US Bangerz tour until August! Dlisted