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Michael Lohan had heart surgery!

Michael Lohan had heart surgery!
February 1, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Michael Lohan

So with Lindsay Lohan finally back on track, someone in the Lohan family has to step-in to be the token self-destructor. While Dina Lohan would seem to be the obvious choice, she’s built up a pretty mean tolerance to alcohol, which leaves Michael Lohan to pick up the torch by nearly dying from a blocked artery.

We’re told MiLo had the emergency procedure done, which determined he has a blockage in the posterior interventricular artery of his heart. According to our sources, the blockage is being treated by his doc, Dr. Farzan Rajput of Newport Beach, who believes Michael can make a full recovery. SOURCE

My current theory on this: With LiLo out of the spotlight, and his finances dependent entirely on spouting a bunch of crazy shit about her to the presses until it rains money, he just flat-out injected Big Mac sauce into his veins. “Real job? HA! Those are for suckers. Throw another Quarter Pounder into the blender, I can still feel the left side of my body.”