Earlier today, I talked about how Lindsay Lohan was basically called out as a colossal liar by Porsche — FREAKING PORSCHE — after she plowed her car into a truck and blamed the brakes. As I was typing that, part of me wondered, “what happened in Lindsay’s life that made her the way she is today?” Then I read this story about how Michael Lohan got Kate Major pregnant in the worst way possible, then it dawned on me: Lindsay swam out of this asshole’s scrotum. Mystery solved. TMZ reports:
There’s going to be a new addition to the Lohan litter — but fear not … it’s not Lindsay who’s preggers. TMZ has learned Lindsay’s gonna have another sibling, courtesy of Kate Major and Michael Lohan. According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal.
Just a few things to keep in mind about Michael and Kate’s relationship here:
- Michael allegedly assaulted and threatened to kill Kate.
- Michael allegedly sold nude photos of Kate that he took without her consent.
- Michael allegedly harassed Kate after she got a restraining order on him, then tried to escape the cops by jumping out a window.
- And now he reportedly impregnated her while he was under that restraining order.
I give this kid three months before he/she starts plowing rented Porsches into baby carriages.