Ah the hell with it, I’m just going to throw this one at you and let you guess what happened. ‘Father of the Year’ aka Michael Lohan was arrested early this morning according to TMZ. What did he do?
A) Wore a mesh shirt in public
B) Funneled coke up Lindsay Lohan‘s nose because she’s worth more to him high than sober
C) Kicked Kate Major in the vagina again
D) Punched a kitten
Tampa Police arrested Lindsay Lohan’s dad at 1:10AM ET after they responded to reports of a fight between Michael and a live-in girlfriend. Law enforcement sources confirm it was Lohan’s on again-off again GF Kate Major.
Now this part is classic Lohan: we’re told Michael complained of chest pains when he was taken into custody — so police took him to a hospital. We’re told Michael was treated, and then was attempting to slip out of the hospital on his own — until an officer spotted him, hauled him down to jail and booked him for the alleged domestic violence.
Yup, he kicked his girlfriend in the vagina. Again. And then he tried to flee, because … what, do hospitals work like homebase in a game of capture the flag? “Sorry commissioner, but the serial murder-rapist touched the front door of a hospital. It’s out of our hands now.” Christ, does he realize they’d just throw his ass in jail the moment he tried to get on TV to sell out LiLo again? Stay classy, Lohan family.
