Michael Fassbender to star in ‘Assassin’s Creed’

Despite the fact that the last movie based on a popular and beloved Ubisoft video game starring a hunky protagonist in specific era of time that used a system wherein the protagonist could never truly die (You know … Prince of Persia?) didn’t really do so well at the box office, it looks like Ubisoft is giving it another go with Assassin’s Creed, which will star Michael Fassbender‘s giant dong. Slashfilm reports:

To do so, they’ve managed to land a guy who could make the project, based on the Assassin’s Creed games, nearly essential viewing. Michael Fassbender, the actor who can jump from serious stuff like Shame and Hunger to tentpoles such as X-Men: First Class and Prometheus, is going to produce and star in the film. There are two existing primary Assassin’s Creed games, with a third set for release this fall. They follow a man named Desmond Miles, but he isn’t really the primary character; rather, a bit of technology allows Desmond to relive “ancestral memories,” which throws the narrative of the first and second games back to the Crusades and Renaissance periods, respectively. (The third is set during the American Revolution.)

Personally, I don’t really see how Michael can convincingly play a mysterious, swarthy man whose known mainly for his large, thrusting appendages that emerge from their sheaths before plunging into others over and over and over and – oh, wait, never mind. I totally get it now. Carry on.

Michael Fassbender

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan on her (messy) first performance of Speed-The-Plow in London ... Dlisted
George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin are now officially married–well, almost! Celebitchy
Jennifer Lopez and BFF Leah Remini were in a hit-and-run with a drunk driver! PopSugar
Sofia Vergara has a problem with that bitch on Modern Family ... find out who! SOW
You can look at the leaked celebrity nudes photos, because they're art now The Blemish
Paris Hilton loves to spend money and her latest outing is totally proof of that! ICYDK
Here is my new favorite picture of Kim Kardashian ... oh such composure! Celebslam
O-Town cutie Ashley Parker Angel is putting his Instagram to very good use ... OMG Blog
I will say this, that famewhore MILF definitely knows how to dress ... Hollywood Tuna
When he is not doing everything Calvin Klein, Matthew Terry likes to model Oh La La
Britney Spears is getting her beauty on and now has a new fancy bob haircut! Evil Beet