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Michael Bay: Attacked by a guy with an air conditioner

Michael Bay: Attacked by a guy with an air conditioner
October 17, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Michael Bay

Apparently, this is the big story of the day, and I’m going to assume it’s because (A) it doesn’t have anything to do with Kris Jenner‘s big publicity divorce or Bruce Jenner becoming a woman, and (B) it’s the gawddamn craziest thing ever. According to The Hollywood Reporter, director Michael Bay was attacked on the set of Transformers 4 (yeah, that’s really happening) by a drugged-up nutjob who went after him using an air conditioner as a weapon. Seriously.

Contrary to news reports, neither Bay nor anyone in the cast or crew was injured, but the production was attacked by a man, allegedly under the influence of some sort of narcotic, who was wielding an air-conditioning unit as a weapon, according to the statement. The man, who had earlier accosted several crewmembers, rushed onto the set in Quarry Bay and swung the air-conditioning unit at Bay’s head. He ducked and wrested the weapon from his attacker. The production company’s security team then subdued the assault and the police arrested the assailant and two of his companions.

The sad thing is, that sounds exactly like the kind of thing that would happen in a Michael Bay movie, and now I have to debate whether or not this whole thing should be labeled “ironic” or “prophetic”. The web is a stickler for the correct usage of words like this. It’s the reason why you can’t use the word “literally” to describe anything that isn’t strictly literal, even though you’re using it for the sake of hyperbole which still technically counts. It’s a rhetorical device! Let it go already!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.