Mel Gibson ‘deserves to be blown’!

Now, as a gossip blogger, there are moments when I think that perhaps my job is too easy. And then there are moments when Mel Gibson spews four audiotapes worth of racist, vile shit and I wonder if I could do my job with both hands tied behind my back. And then there are moments when Mel Gibson screams “I DESERVE TO BE BLOWN!” and I realize that I have one seriously cushy job.

“How dare you act like such a b**ch, when I’ve been so f**king nice?” Mel screams at his ex, Oksana Grigorieva, before raging at her for falling asleep before he could get a blow job in the jacuzzi.

“I let you sleep, I shouldn’t have woken you up and said ‘f*cking blow me! That was my goddamn mistake,” Mel screams. His panting and screaming gets more out of control from there.

“I deserve to be blown first! Before the f*cking Jacuzzi! Ok, I’ll burn the goddamn house up, but blow me first! How dare you!??!” SOURCE

Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think Mel might have a thing for blowjobs. You know, you see this all the time … It’s like those kids who weren’t hugged enough as kids? Only in this case, it’s a bitterly racist, homophobic and misogynist sack of shit who didn’t put his penis in enough mouths. Oh Mel, it’s okay. I’m sure one day you’ll meet a girl who will agree with everything you say and give you all the blowjobs you want. Granted, she will be inflatable, but that’s just a trade-off you’ll have to live with.

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.