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Matthew Fox is Michael Lohan now!

Matthew Fox is Michael Lohan now!
August 29, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Matthew Fox

Well holy shit, this one kind of came out of left field: TMZ is reporting that Lost star Matthew Fox came out of obscurity juuuuuuust long enough to randomly get shit-ass drunk and then punch a female bus driver in the vagina and the breast. Somewhere out there, Michael Lohan is wearing his mesh shirt and nodding in understanding. “Yes … Yes in the vagina. That’s right,” he says, while beating members of his family with a shoe.

TMZ spoke with Heather Bormann … who tells us she was driving a party bus for a private party Saturday night in Cleveland — when Fox boarded the vehicle.

Bormann claims she told Fox he wasn’t welcome on the bus — but he was too drunk to understand.

Bormann says, “He just kept staring at me with his mouth wide open and not saying anything. I told him, ‘You have to leave buddy. You are trespassing on my bus.'”

That’s when Fox “leaned in and started punching my crotch and breast.”

Bormann says, “I took one hand to his jaw and he was spitting blood. He stumbled backwards.”

All right, I’m going to be honest: I’ve never seen Lost. Never. Not a single episode. So I have no real connection to Matthew Fox or anyone else who was on the show, so honestly? Fuck this guy. I don’t give a shit how drunk you are, you do not punch a woman. Not even Snooki, who isn’t so much a woman as she is a slutty leprechaun with melanoma, but still … Don’t punch women.

Matthew Fox