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Mariah Carey doesn’t know who Kim Kardashian is?

Mariah Carey doesn’t know who Kim Kardashian is?
April 3, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Mariah Carey

Last week, Nick Cannon revealed to the world that he banged Kim Kardashian at some point in his life, which isn’t surprising in the least because he’s a rapper. That’s like the Open Sesame of Kim’s noonie-hole. You’d figure that his wife Mariah Carey would be royally pissed about that one, except it turns out she doesn’t even know who Kim is. To which I say, what magical alternate reality do you live in, and can you please take me with you? Us Weekly reports …

Howard Stern claimed that Carey was most upset that Cannon talked about sleeping with Kim Kardashian. (Back in 2012, he said he dumped the reality star because she lied about her sex tape.) However, Cannon said that wasn’t the case. “You know, I don’t think so, no. ‘Cause honestly, my wife, she don’t even know who Kim Kardashian is,” the Drumline actor said. “She doesn’t pay attention to that. I think it was more about the fact … [that I spent] time on my past.”

No seriously, how do you do it, Mariah? How do you exist in a world where Kim does not exist? … What’s that? Oh, you mean you only exist in a world of yourself, and it’s more a matter of your consciously oblivious to the world? Well, I suppose that works. Was kind of hoping you’d have some sort of magical wardrobe that leads to a frozen wonderland where she never existed, but whatever gets the job done, right?

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.