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Maria Shriver plans to divorce Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Maria Shriver plans to divorce Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver

Gee, ya think? Anyway, in a not-so shocking twist, it looks like Maria Shriver is planning on straight-up divorcing Arnold Schwarzenegger because that’s kinda what you do when your husband screws a maid, has a love child with her, and then hides it from you for a goddamn decade.

After hiring celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser and a private investigator, it should come as no surprise that Maria Shriver plans to file for divorce from estranged ex Arnold Schwarzenegger. “It’s not a matter of if Maria will file for divorce, but when,” a friend of Shriver’s told RadarOnline.com. Shriver and Schwarzenegger’s combined net worth has been estimated at $500 million. According to famed divorce attorney Robert S. Cohen, if Shriver were to go through with her plans for the split, assets acquired during the marriage would be divided 50-50. SOURCE

Hell, when you consider how many celebrities file for divorce after four months and slap “irreconcilable differences (he’s gay!)” on that sucker, I’m surprised she’s stuck it out for this long without kicking his ass to the curb. I mean, to be fair, she’s about 65 lbs. soaking wet, so if she was gonna lug his fat-ass out onto the streets, she’d probably need a forklift.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver