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Madonna apologized for calling her son the n-word

Madonna apologized for calling her son the n-word
January 20, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Rocco Ritchie

Because Madonna desperately needed someone to remember she’s not dead — she just looks like she is — last week she posted a picture to her Instagram account of her son Rocco Ritchie where she called him her uh … you know. The n-word. Once again, I’m Irish-Canadian. Don’t make me say it. Anyway, after everyone rightly called her out for being a 50-something white woman calling dropping the n-bomb, she gave a pseudo-pology to People magazine IF you were offended …

The comment was quickly removed according to Buzzfeed, and replaced with this one: “Ok let me start this again. #get off my d-ck haters!” But the 55-year-old singer changed her tune on Saturday. “I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram,” the pop star said in a statement obtained by People.

“It was not meant as a racial slur … I am not a racist. There’s no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention.”

“It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white,” Madonna continues. “I appreciate that it’s a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me.”

IF you were offended. Oh gawd, that’s exactly how you’re not supposed to start off an apology. Well, considering what a blatant non-apology this is, I’m going to feed this into the PopBytes patented bullsh!t-to-actual-human-speech translator and see what comes out. Let me just calibrate this to “past-her-prime famewhore” aaaaaaaaaand …

“Seriously, I’m MADONNA. My entire career has revolved around shrouding garden variety dance-pop with publicity stunts. My last album was named after drugs, for gawd’s sake. I don’t care what comes out of my mouth, as long as you remember I’m still alive. This was a calculated ploy for controversy. Why do you think this happened right before Martin Luther King jr. Day? I have to keep pumping out stupid bullsh!t so that no one will realize I’ve been releasing the same lazy pop tracks for over a decade now.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.