Oh God bless Lindsay Lohan‘s rotten teeth and dirty hands. For some reason, that post brought in ALL THE PEOPLE yesterday, because apparently, all of y’all love staring at a jacked up, decaying meth grill. Anyway, it also caught the attention of Lindsay’s rep Steve Honig, who decided to assure everyone that LiLo was perfectly healthy and sober and – oh, wait, they completely avoided saying any of those things and instead released the most delusional piece of shit since Courtney Stodden looked in the mirror and said “Nope, nothing weird about this.” Via People:
“Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers,” her rep, Steve Honig, tells People. “She’s been on the cover of Vanity Fair,” Honig says, “and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She’s a beautiful and glamorous actress.” And that’s not all he has to say about concerns over Lindsay’s dental health. “With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth,” he added.
Seriously. That’s how they’re going to frame this. Look, I get it: gossip isn’t so much news as it is a fun little hobby with which to experience a little escapism. Our apologies that we can’t be Anderson fucking Cooper. That being said, if you’re going to try and mask the fact that Lindsay is clearly smoking something wrong (and that she’s screwing her way into photo shoots) you might want to avoid the whole “Sure, Lindsay looks like she’s two crack pipe hits away from giving you a toothy, scabby beejer under the overpass for meth money, but CHILDREN ARE STARVING IN AFRICA!” Gob Bluth has better slight of hand than that.
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