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Lindsay Lohan wants to keep her ‘incompetent’ lawyer

Lindsay Lohan wants to keep her ‘incompetent’ lawyer
March 6, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan and Mark Heller

Who’s ready for a hypothetical thought experiment? All right, let’s say you fire your old lawyer who you never bothered paying in favor of a new lawyer who costs way less but is also way less … competent. As in, he’s sponsored by someone who never actually practiced law, barely knows how to file the correct paper work, and thinks hitting on the judge is a good idea. After a while, the judge tells you to either hire a lawyer who knows what he’s doing, or waive your right to a competent judge. Do you (A) hire a new lawyer, (B) actually pay your old lawyer and see if she’ll come back, or (C) stick with your old lawyer and blame the media? If you answered C, you are Lindsay Lohan and you have failed at life. TMZ reports …

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … she’s angry that the media is painting Mark Heller as a nincompoop. She says, “It’s all lies.” What’s more … Lindsay doesn’t care that Judge James Dabney also called Heller incompetent to practice in California. In fact, the judge was brutally honest … to the point he said if Lindsay keeps Heller, he’ll order her to court for the next hearing to explain why she would be waiving her right to a lawyer who knows what he’s doing.

Wait, what? The judge just basically told her to hire a new lawyer, otherwise she’s going to end up completely screwed, and somehow she thinks this is the media’s fault? If only there was some logical explanation as to why Lindsay would doggedly stick to her guns even in the face of an overwhelming truth?

As we first reported … Michael Lohan reached out to his daughter and offered to pay for a new lawyer, but she turned him down flat.

Ah yes, there it is. Well, I’ll give LiLo credit, at least she knows enough to not listen to her dad Michael Lohan. It’s a shame she doesn’t know well enough to actually listen to the guy who’s going to decide whether or not she goes to jail.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.