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PSA: Do NOT lend anything to Lindsay Lohan!

PSA: Do NOT lend anything to Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan

Hey, remember that dress Charlie Sheen supposedly got for Lindsay Lohan? Well, it turns out, Lindsay never actually bought the dress so much as she borrowed it, and amazingly, she took excellent care of it and returned it in the condition she received it in. HAHAHA! Just kidding! No, she basically ripped it in half and returned it in shreds. Us Weekly reports…

Shear madness? Lindsay Lohan wore a gorgeous, beaded, floor-sweeping gown by Theia to an amFAR event on Feb. 6 in NYC, but by the time she returned it, the dress was half its original length.

“She said that the dress had ripped [at a club after the fundraiser] — she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But what bouncer has scissors?”

“She turned it into a mullet! Only a fashiony person would do that!” the source continues. “She’s out of control and behaving really badly.”

You have to love how Lindsay’s reaction to a rip in a dress isn’t so much “let’s quickly sew it back together” as it is “GET ME SCISSORS, I’M TEARING THIS THING IN HALF!” To be fair, this is LiLo …

Lindsay: Oh no, a slight tear in my dress! What are we gonna do, Ginny the Magical Talking Gin Bottle?
Ginny: Tear the entire thing in half! No one will notice!
Lindsay: Oh Ginny, you’re so smart … whoops! I spilled my drink on a toddler. What should I do now?
Ginny: Put it in a woodchipper!
Lindsay: … but we don’t have a woodchipper? Or do we?

JEREMY FEIST
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.