Lindsay Lohan rehires Shawn Holley, goes to Betty Ford

Lindsay Lohan rehires Shawn Holley, goes to Betty Ford
May 3, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan and Shawn Holley

After realizing yesterday that she can’t actually just do whatever she wants, something must have clicked in Lindsay Lohan‘s brain that went, “Oh, that’s right, Shawn Holley is the only reason we’re not trading cigarettes for sandwiches in prison right now.” So after bailing on one rehab, and then another, Lindsay has hired back Shawn as a lawyer, and has been given the green light to stay at The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California … for the second time. TMZ reports …

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Lindsay checked in late Thursday night … barely dodging a looming arrest warrant. We broke the story … Lindsay has re-hired Shawn Holley, who then negotiated with Santa Monica City Attorney Terry White to make the deal that Betty Ford was an acceptable rehab joint. It’s ironic Lindsay is at Betty Ford — you’ll recall back in 2010 Lindsay got into an epic fight during her rehab stay with a staffer. The police were called and civil lawsuits were filed. It’s amazing Betty Ford took her back.

Lindsay: Dammit Mark, I’m not going to rehab and you can’t make me!
Mark Heller: For gawd’s sake, Lindsay, just put down the bazooka!
Lindsay: NO, I’m completely fine! Now someone give me back my cigarettes before I blow up this animal clinic.
Shawn: Step aside Mark, I’ll handle this. She may be a delusional, irresponsible, reckless drunk, but she’s MY drunk.
Mark: I’m free! I’M FINALLY FREE!
Shawn: Come on Lindsay. Ginny the Magic Gin Bottle is waiting for you at The Betty Ford Center.
Lindsay: Good, that stupid bitch owes me $500.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.