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Lindsay Lohan may go to jail for three months after all

Lindsay Lohan may go to jail for three months after all
March 20, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to ninety days of lockdown rehab for lying to the police, because hey, it didn’t work the first two times but surely the third time’s the charm! Except according to TMZ, Lindsay’s registered as living in New York, where lockdown rehabs don’t exist and now she might end up going to jail instead …

We’ve done some digging, contacting numerous rehab facilities in NY, and we’re getting the same story from EVERYONE — rehab facilities do NOT force patients to stay. In fact, an official from the New York State agency that regulates rehab facilities tells us lockdown rehab does not exist in NY. None of the facilities have guards that block access out.

Now you must be wondering if this is all lawyer Mark Heller‘s fault. Well the answer is yes, yes it is.

Law enforcement sources connected with Lindsay’s lying-to-cops case tell TMZ … prosecutors offered the plea deal based on the representation of Lindsay’s lawyer, Mark Heller, that New York had lockdown rehab facilities. After we placed calls today … we’re told prosecutors are now checking to see if Heller’s representation was false. One well-placed source said this: “The sentence was actually 90 days in custody, and lockdown rehab would satisfy that. If there’s no such thing, then she’ll go to jail for 90 days.”

So basically, Mark — either knowingly or through sheer ineptitude — had Lindsay cop a plea deal so that she could be sentenced to something that doesn’t even exist where she lives. Either dumb-dumb over there figured that no one would actually look into whether Lindsay completed her sentencing, or Heller just jumped on the first thing that sounded easy because seriously, the guy’s legal strategy was to try and seduce the judge with lucky rabbit feet. Lindsay could have let Ginny the Magic Talking Gin Bottle represent her and she would have ended up getting off easier.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.